Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Of Highways And Hand Baskets

Some of my Gentle Readers will attest that, in the past, when some gentle soul attempted to foist a computer on me--expounding on the virtues and wonders the 21st century had in store for my benefit--my prompt response was that the internet is the Information Super Highway to Hell. Now, with the assistance of The History Channel, I have been proven right. So there.

This past Saturday THC did a multi-hour exploration of the Seven Deadly Sins. Ironically this expose' coincided with my birthday. I hadn't planned on committing any of them but I thought it was kind of them to remind me to watch my step.

It seems there were originally eight of them until Pope St. Gregory the Great in the 7th century decided that Eight Deadly Sins just didn't have the right ring to it so he combined two of them and created the more ominous sounding Seven Deadly Sins. Assonance is a very strong tool.

He combined the sin of apathy and the sin of 'sadness' into the deadly sin of Sloth. Apparently he believed the Dark Ages were so much fun no one had an excuse to be sad. In the eyes of the Church 'sadness' (read: depression or despondency) was a self absorbing and vain exercise that took emphasis away from turning grief into an opportunity of engendering faith. In other words, not giving every waking moment over to the work and praise of God, despite tragedy and suffering, was a one way ticket to Hell.

A symptom of Sloth, according to one of the 'experts', was the insidious proliferation of the internet. People devoting so much of their time to reading and sending emails, game-playing, and BLOGGING. (Pornography still comes under the Deadly Sin of Lust Department. It is merely a scenic by-pass on the internet interstate.) These activities absorb the soul in unproductive pursuits that do not elevate it or give glory to God. In other words, we're all going to hell. I rest my case. Is it any wonder that one of these tools of Satan is called 'Apple'?

I find it comforting to think I will not be alone and that I will spend a very warm eternity with clever, interesting people. Save me a seat and I'll do the same for you. I wonder if good ol' Gregory will be a super highway patrol officer just waiting to pull us over for high-speed.


  1. Sounds like Gregory was more of a hall monitor. Save me a spot next to you ;-)

  2. Don't forget to save my place although I expect I'll get there before you.What fun we'll have!

  3. Red and Von: Oh, the possibilities!! I'll keep the bench warm....there'll be more of us, I have no doubt! Maybe I should reserve a table?

  4. Make it a big table. We might all be people who'd rather write than speak! :-P

  5. Very true....dictionary's and thesauri all 'round! And Apple PC's I guess......Oh hell, I'll just reserve a ball room with a wet bar and buffet table.

  6. Thesauri.
    Lord, lord, I love you.

  7. I did that just for you, oh Maven of Le Mot Juste!!