Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Lord Wellbourne Vents Again--Kicks 'Buts'

I am sick to death of pathetic wannabes blathering on about their unfair existences, limited opportunities, and the outright cruelty of being alive.

I think most of my Gentle Readers share a few common threads with yours, truly. We are of an age--between forty and dirt. We have been places, seen and done things beyond our back yards. We have endured trials and tribulations great and small. We can all wear the tee shirt proudly proclaiming that we've been there and done that. Huzzah for us!!

So nothing irritates me more than a seemingly sincere, relatively intelligent person wishing to consult my 'expertise' in order to get a handle on "what to do next" in attaining their aspirations. I listen as empathetically as I can, fighting the urge to interrupt for grammatical clarification, and trying to follow the rabbit-warren of logic.

Then comes the pause where I reflect, consider what I've just been told, gather my thoughts and attempt to guide, direct, advise based on academics and life experience. And thus begins the avalanche of 'buts'.

"That sounds great, but....", "I'd like to/I want to, but...." "That makes sense, but...." It's just as aggravating as "I can't" spoken with such conviction despite the fact no attempt has ever been made. These are the same people who are so addicted to self-victimization that they can only sing one song (over and over ad nauseam) and expect you to selflessly join in the refrain.

Well, I ain't Pavarotti and I really hate the "Song of But". Previous 'but' singers will not be given another opportunity to audition. Newcomers will have one chance to receive my input after which they become a previous 'but' singer and the rule goes into effect. Take note: the listener does enjoy variety in repertoire. This is key in procuring future engagements.

From here on my advice to any 'but' singer will be: "If you want to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat. The boat is the HMS Excuses--stay in it and you'll go nowhere fast. If you want to get anywhere you have to get your 'but' out of the boat. You may have to swim a bit before you can walk-- getting your 'but' wet never killed anyone. And don't even think about using your 'but' as a flotation device! It'll sink you faster and deeper than you already are. Now pull your head out of your 'but' and start walking."

I may just refer those seeking my counsel to come here first and spare myself any further irritation. In the meantime, Gentle Reader, thank you for stopping by. And know my door is always open to y'all.

No ifs, ands, or buts about it.


  1. 'But-heads' ha!! What dum-dum doesn't know better about calling you with their litany of 'buts'? My eyes are rolling back spins in my sockets from the inanity. I would like to offer my size 10 sneaker attached to a strong kicking leg on behalf of your general welfare and gentile manner.

  2. Here, Here or is that Hear, Hear!! I could not agree more with this heartfelt post.
    I too am fed up with being 'consulted' and hearing the 'buts' come out.I have learned that after the first two I'm out of the game.
    Have an old friend who periodically likes a moan, my offered suggestions are met with little enthusiasm. She made the big mistake of being very rude to me, in a meeting, in public.I've washed my hands and can do without someone in my life who's game is not to change , they call them martyrs in some circles.They're toxic.Who needs them?
    You have my full support and enthusiasm for your decison.The worst thing others can do is encourage the moaning.As we say, Onya!!

  3. If they´re ready, you can´t say anything wrong. If they´re not ready, you can´t say anything right.

  4. Wellbourne, it seems you were conversationally 'mooned' with all the 'buts'.

  5. What more could I say than has already been said?

  6. Thank you, Ladies!! Life would be so much more convenient if people would just exercise full disclosure. I mean, if all they want to do is whine and bemoan their fate they should just say so. Then I could simply say "not interested" and be done with it rather than lose precious constructive time in the studio--alphabetizing the beads or colour-coding trim. You know, the important stuff.

  7. June--And when they're idiots there isn't much I CAN say. I've never learned to speak that language--too few syllables.

    Red--There's my clever Cajun (by osmosis)!!

  8. You know me. Bringing dat brevity.

  9. Brevity is the very soul of sincerity. Everything else is window dressing.

  10. I agree with you, although I contradict myself in acknowledging that I've sung that song to you many times...(lol)

  11. Lordy - I hear where you are coming from, but aren't most "buts" just the items that must be addressed before action, the precursors to taking the perilous leap of faith? Sometimes I worry people don't consider the "but" enough. IE, We could bomb Iraq, but...nah forget it, let's do it! The "but" can be useful as an internal censor and teacher.

  12. Yes, dear heart, you are right. I think it was the profusion of 'buts' in a single afternoon that caused my pique. They are indeed precursors to action--hopefully. I prefer action to ambivalence and lethargy. I just wish I had some sort of guarantee that some action was going to take place before starting out. But then, don't we all?

    Ms Ivy--I never tire of your search for counsel because you are not pre-disposed to 'buts'. You ask 'how' and that makes all the difference.