Saturday, February 20, 2010

FAQ's And SVR's-- Part Two

Greetings, Gentle Readers of The Maine Thing! Iam Nosy here and today we continue with the second installment of our three-part interview with the enigmatic and devastatingly charming Lord Wellbourne.

FAQ--Good morning, Lord Wellbourne!

SVR--Howdy.

FAQ--When we left off yesterday, you were about to tell us about your illustrious career in the performing arts.

SVR--Was I indeed? Can't recall--but then I've slept since then.

FAQ--I trust you slept well.

SVR--Trust is a beautiful thing.

FAQ--You were a critically acclaimed stage actor for several years. Tell us about that.

SVR--I performed in over 70 plays. Shakespeare, G.B. Shaw, Wilde, Moliere, and Maxwell Anderson were my favourite playwrights. It was great fun.

FAQ--Why did you give it up?

SVR--I came to discover that 'real life' provided more than adequate drama and challenges with fewer lighting cues and costume changes.

FAQ--What do you miss the most about your acting career?

SVR--Sleeping in.

FAQ--What do you consider your greatest role?

SVR--Myself

FAQ--As well as being a consummate actor, you were also a cabaret performer. What did you do?

SVR--I sang standards of the 1930's and 40's as well as re-enacting classic vaudeville routines.

FAQ--Fascinating! But that career ended rather abruptly. What happened?

SVR--My accompanist, the immensely talented Clay Howell, was offered the opportunity to tour with Bette Midler. After 4.7 seconds of soul-searching deliberation, he dumped me.

FAQ--Were you bitter?

SVR--No, relieved. I was really sick of singing 'Melancholy Baby'.

FAQ--Lord Wellbourne, are you--

SVR--Yes, I am.

FAQ--I hadn't finished the question.

SVR--Hadn't you? Sorry. Carry on.

FAQ--It's not important.

SVR--I thought not.

FAQ--You are also an award-winning published author. What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

SVR--Find something to write on and pick up a pen.

FAQ--Is that all?

SVR--What more do they need?

FAQ--What about imagination?

SVR--My dear Mr. Nosy, people who lack imagination or skill and think they want to 'write' can only aspire to criticism. My advice to THAT lot cannot be published.

FAQ--When people refer to you as a 'dilettante' how do you respond?

SVR--I refer them to this wall of sheep skins that says otherwise.

FAQ--You have now embarked on a totally new and unrelated career path. When and how did you become interested in hand-crafting?

SVR--Let's leave that for another time, shall we?

Well, there you have it, Gentle Readers! The second installment of a three-part interview with the matchless and captivating Lord Wellbourne. Please tune in tomorrow when we will discover the roots to his creative prowess and ask him to name names! Until then, this is Iam Nosy signing off.

8 comments:

  1. I must presume that the unfinished question was "Are you still a smoker?"
    I hope, being matchless as you are, you have a lighter.

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  2. In that case I'm a smoker too. Ha!

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  3. On a lighter note, we always knew you were 'someone' and pleased to have the finer points of your tightly woven tapestry of life confirmed.Looking forward to part 3 tomorrow.
    Re the cuppa of a different post, always find it a cheering moment.Right now and through Summer the chilled glass of Moscato at sunset on the front verandah has strong attractions.I'm working my way through all the offerings from our local wine-makers.Fortunately only a handful of the 60+ are making it.Too confusing otherwise!The most promising so far is the one made closest to where I sit, a long stone's throw.

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  4. Yes I do!! It's the type you use to light the pilot in a hot water heater or start the bar-b-q pit. I don't mess with those cutesy designer lighters anymore. Everything up here is 'lumberjack chic'.

    How perceptive of you, June, to discern that questions' subject. And welcome back. My blogship has been without its' rudder in your absence.

    Red: Burn, baby, burn!

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  5. Why, hello Von! We must have cross-commented! Glad you're enjoying the interview by Mr. Nosy. He's something of an annoying little git but he's very sincere. There may be an epilogue for Monday--haven't decided yet.

    I'm looking forward to my Moscato sunsets of the summer, too. It'll be about the same time you're having a warm cuppa in the morning. Up-over and Down-under--what a wonderful, topsy-turvy planet we share! "...closest to where I sit, a long stone's throw". Perhaps you should move the ice bucket a little closer.

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  6. Oh, there you go, bragging about your Paul Bunyan lighter.
    Will we have to add lighters in with thumbs?

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  7. Not at all! Because I'd NEVER stick my thumb into a hot water tank OR a bar-b-q pit. On the upside--my lighter is adjustable and child-resistant.

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  8. I have three in the kitchen drawer. One can never have too many you know. Sometimes it's good to be outnumbered.

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