New Year's Eve, 2009. The last blue moon of the year happens this very night. Somehow that seems apropos. This has been a remarkable year for me. A year of transition and metamorphosis. I moved from the subtropics to the subarctic. I left behind the family I created from among friends over the last 26 years to return to the family that ancestry and DNA connect me to. I'm having to reinvent myself all over again. It's an opportunity to attach the 'New and Improved' label to my resume.
How do I feel? I haven't the slightest idea how to put the swirling emotions into any kind of order let alone into words.
I am sad not to be among the people who gifted so much of themselves to me in Texas. At the same time I am glad to be among people who want me to be a part of their lives here. As I look back at this past year and ahead to the one coming, I feel like a poster child for the definition of oxymoron. I want to have what I had and want what I've got. I am a walking dichotomy. Anyone who's known me would tell you that that's nothing new. I guess I'm just more conscious of it tonight than usual.
I take comfort in a passage from Jonathan Livingston Seagull that seized my heart all those long years ago when I read it for the first time. It has come to mind every time there's been a parting of one sort or another in my life. Please forgive the inaccurate paraphrasing that follows.
Jonathan says to Sully:
".....Take away space and all we have is here. Take away time and all we have is now. And somewhere between here and now we shall surely see one another again......."
I've heard the strains of Auld Lang Syne throughout the day on various TV programs. Auld Lang Syne--Old Long Since. I've always taken it to mean 'for old times sake'. I will indeed raise a cup of kindness yet to all that's gone before. And raise it again to toast what's to come. In the end it's all one and the same. It is life. And it will draw breath for as long as it is remembered.
I lift my cup, overflowing with optimism, to all humanity and especially to you, my Gentle Readers. May we always be as close and never farther apart.
Happy New Year and may all your dichotomies find happy resolutions!