Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Approach Of The Snow People

Ah, September! The promise of Autumn and all it's golden charms. My Gentle Readers may have noticed that I have been somewhat absent from the blogosphere of late. Fear not! I have not succumbed to illness or lethargy. It appears that I had forgotten a long-standing ritual that occurs annualy here in Maine and probably throughout most of the upper regions of the Northern Hemisphere. It's commonly called 'bundling season'. I was 18 when I left Maine for points south so I was never initiated into the practice. When I returned here last spring I was too preoccupied with chaos for several months that followed to take any notice of the tell-tale signs. I have had a pleasantly surprising introduction to the concept.

Bundling Season begins in mid-August and is primarily an exercise in compatibility. It's Maine's virtual version of eharmony. I have become a 'person of interest' to three candidates. I would like to say that I'm an object of desire but that wouldn't be accurate. Desire in most cases is devoid of practicality. Bundling is all about pragmatism. It isn't about passion; it's about snow shovelling and wood chopping. It's about companionship when you're snowed in and run the risk of cabin fever. It's about someone bringing you the chicken soup and Robitussin when you're down with the flu. It's endless games of Scrabble, chess, and gin rummy. Bundling is semi-hibernation with co-dependance. When the snow melts in April so does the bundling. You have survived the long, dark, cold days on the tundra and it's time to go out in search of berries and fresh air.

This is not to say that there isn't passion and desire involved. It just has a different priority status than it has in Summer. I am a triple threat and I am enjoying the attention. I am not dim-witted or hard on the eyes. I am a decent cook. AND, perhaps most importantly, I am fluent in both silence and conversation. This last is a major quality during Bundling Season. I know when to leave someone alone and when to engage them. I know how to pamper and how to leave-be.

I can't say how all this will turn out. I'm not particularly interested in a bundling partner. However, I'm not averse to the idea either. Could be fun or it could just be more of what I already have now. In the meantime I'm just enjoying the proverbial hunting expedition around the proverbial bush. The snowshoes are primed and waxed, the shovel is clean, and the axe is sharp. I'm good to go. The scented massage oil and Twister game are stowed where they can be easily retrieved. I'm prepared for any contingency. It's the Maine way.


  1. I can't believe you'll be thisclose to another winter in Maine so soon. Seems like you've only just defrosted.

  2. Bundling Season.. now this sounds highly original to me... rather intriguing... if the weather stays like it has been there won't be any need for bundling at all.. cause it is Too Damn Hot!!!

    ...some Un-Bundling may be called for...

  3. Yeah we're going into autumn here too. It's raining everyday, the jungle is to wet to cut and it has been too cool to sleep naked without covers. It was clear down to 73 degrees F last night.
    The insects are in a frenzy to get their business done before it's too late.
    Bundling sounds civilized.
    I thought it involved a bed with covers and a board down the middle so the only intercourse was verbal.

  4. Red: All the best parts have defrosted.

    Gwen: It is mighty toasty for sure. Is it warm for you in Fundy, too? I think the candidates are taking my dislike for heat as a coy maneuver. Coyness is NOT one of my attributes. I just don't like combining chit-chat with heat prostration. Now, if one of them has a pool......

    Oldfool: Sleeping naked w/o covers is rarely an option up here. Even in the midst of summer it still dips down into the 50's. Very comfortable for me since I'm so bloody hot-natured anyway. Bundling is very civilized and a time-honoured remedy for single folk. Married people bundle year-round but it isn't always as much fun. Usually as cold as it can get here verbal intercourse is about all you want--the mood kinda gets lost once you've peeled the first six layers off. Wool is not very sexy......

    Red: Why yes....but it's not good for vacuuming--the damn machine doesn't dip, spin, or lead.

  5. Wool is not very sexy......
    You aren't thinking of the itches to be scratched once the wool's removed, then, are you?

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  7. June: I'm sure it's very sexy to other sheep. If you don't wear the wool then the itching/scratching becomes moot. You just become more creative about 'scratchig an itch'.

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